201 DH-HELL...

How hard can it be to deliver a package on time? If you are DHL, the answer seems to be 'very'.

As I mentioned a little while back, I took the plunge and ordered myself and Lisa some snazzy sunglasses from SunGod. The company sends them out recorded delivery, using Bonn's favourite delivery service.

I received an excited email from SunGod saying my shades were packaged and ready for collection and that DHL would pick them up shortly. Sure enough, I received an email from the American/German delivery operators with a tracking number, a delivery date, and a link to their website. So far, so groovy.

I watched with interest as my package arrived in Swindon, then headed north to the East Midlands Airport sorting office. From there, it made its way to Speke, a few miles away from my home, and was lashed in the back of a big, yellow van, ready to head up the M57. I received a message to say it would be delivered between 16:30 and 18:30.

I had some running around to do, but made plans to be in well before the estimated delivery slot. Just as I got far enough away, I received a message to say DHL had attempted to deliver my parcel...TWO HOURS EARLY.

What is the point in providing a time if you are going to ignore it? Sake.

I then watched in horror as my parcel was dropped off in Chester before travelling down the M6 to Castle Donnington in the East Midlands again! It was then on the move again, back to Speke the next day, then on again to Altringham, where it sat waiting to be delivered a couple of days later.

It was still sitting in Altringham on the day I had asked for a redelivery. After trying and failing to contact someone on Live Chat, I gave up. As I was closing the DHL window, I noticed that my parcel was marked as being out for delivery the following day...just the 24 hours after I requested - two thumbs up, guys.

Finally, today, a swarthy guy handed me the package like he was doing a drug deal; no eye contact, no chat, just a package thrust into my hand, and he was in his van quicker than I could say, "This was supposed to be here yesterday, you know?"

How do DHL make any money? My sunglasses have done more miles than the Artemis II spaceship that just looped the moon and back. It is the auld brewery analogy again, isn't it? Whatever, at least I have them now and don't need to be fixated on website updates, watching a parcel complete laps of the M6.