176 SPRINKLE THE GLITTER...

I did a bit of browsing for gear today. I stumbled across the Porsche Martini Racing store, which was an experience. Adding the P word to anything instantly hikes the price. Want a branded t-shirt with the motor manufacturer and the sponsor on it? £50 that mate. Ouch.

To be fair, the t-shirt was cracking, with the iconic striped pattern covering the whole garment and both brands' logos printed in white on the front, and the Porsche logo on the back. £50 is too much, but still, it would have made a great top half of an outfit for the trip. I might do some more digging, see what I can find...

What piqued my interest was a pair of Porsche/Martin-branded trainers designed by Puma. A trinity of logos right there, boys and girls. Puma is a well-respected brand, but it isn't ultra-high-end, so I expected a price that reflected that. I was wrong, boy was I wrong. Take a £50 pair of trabs, add a few Martini stripes here and there, add a couple of Porsche badges and stitching and then stick them on your website for a whopping £194. Yeah, you read that right, £194.

Apparently, this is "racing style at its finest". The trainers "combine sporty elegance with legendary motorsport design". They offer a way for the three brands to rip you off more. "Inspired by the sporty design of the Porsche 936 Spyder from 1976, they impress with high-quality materials and striking details". I assume that is a euphemism for massively overpriced.

"Thanks to the Formstrip, which is reminiscent of the iconic paintwork of the racing car, they become real eye-catchers. The tongue with the MARTINI RACING® logo and classic stripes underlines the striking look. The detailed design is complemented by the printed year 1976 on the heel. The insole with the Porsche and MARTINI RACING® logo ensures high comfort." Well, that is me sold.

It isn't a complete cash grab, though; they do come with a second pair of laces, a special box and a branded gym bag. Oh, why didn't they mention that from the start? Take my money now. They are a pair of bang-average Puma trainees, with a bit of Porsche and Martini glitter sprinkled over them, then given a price seemingly plucked out of the air. No thanks.